There's nothing that says you can't show a little humor when taking care of your physical self.  This spacious gym bag will keep all your stuff neat and organized with multiple pockets, including one with a zipper for your most valuable possessions. Adjust the padded shoulder strap when carrying heavier things. It may not actually weigh 300lbs but it's good to set goals. 

• 100% polyester
• Water-resistant and durable
• Sturdy fabric with fusible backing to add firmness
• T-piping for stability
• Dual padded handles
• Inside pocket for valuables